I Love This Kid

Here is another amazing thing that very recently in my life. I was “reunited” with an old friend. By reunited I just mean I saw him and got to catch up with him after a few years. Seeing him almost made me want to cry, he is just an amazing person. He is unique, loving, caring, light hearted, and he has a great passion for the Lord. God has been doing some great things in his life too, he doesn’t know it yet (because we haven’t had enough time to talk about it) but we are in very similar parts of our lives right now. 

     I am realizing now, after five or six years, that I don’t know this friend at all. I know the superficial things. I know a bit about his past. I know a little about his family life. But much beyond that I don’t know him. I don’t even know his testimony or how he came to love Jesus. This is a conviction, I hate superficial relationships, I hate being fake, and that is exactly how I have been (in this particular case). Thankfully God has blessed me with the chance to try at this friendship again. On a deeper level. For this I am so thankful. In starting with this “retake” on our friendship I wanted to share something of his. He did an amazing little bible study and was kind enough to give a note he wrote...... He really highlights a deep area of concern in his life, an issue that I am really sharing at this point of my life. I don’t by any means want to take credit for what he wrote.... These are all his words. Goodness, I love this kid! God thanks for putting him back in my life. This note is testament to the fact that you brought him back into my life at just the right time. You work in the weirdest and most splendid ways. I love you God!

Words of wisdom about my approach to change:

     God makes it clear from the beginning (Proverbs 1:7)- that “fools despise wisdom and discipline.” He guides us by saying (Proverbs 3:5)- “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” The heart is one of the most important parts of our body in terms of chance, action, etc.. The heart must be protected  (Proverbs 4:23)- “Above all else guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life.” Guarding is something I haven’t done well in, especially in my relationships. Going too far sexually and getting so emotionally invested leaves my heart unprotected and open to be broken or destroyed . Why wouldn’t I protect it? It is the wellspring of life, the center of life. I live my life better when my heart trusts n the Lord. I must also be careful however for (Jeremiah 17:9)-”The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.” Following my heart may be the worst thing I cold ever do... According to God my heart is deceitful and incurable. My heart is literally sick and terminally ill. The darkness,deceit, lust, pride and selfishness cannot be fixed. It seems a hopeless battle as it often is, but God already knows how to help me. (Ezekiel 36:26,29) “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you, I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” I can’t remember how many times I have tried to change and fix the messes I’ve made, and the mess that I truly am. Each time I fell right back into the same patterns and addictions. I would take two steps forwards and three steps backward. Its like I never even changed at all. Butt God can make me new. He can give me a new heart an make me clean. I no longer have to be the screwed up person I am. I, by his grace, may be able to chance. I don’t want to use women for sex, hate the Christian community, be a terrible friend, yell and fight with my parents, not be understanding, and not be full of bitterness. No, no, no! I want to be a man who loves and respects his wife. I want to serve her, I want to be a better friend and love others with all that I have. I want to feel right and cared for in a church. And most of  all I want to love my family that doesn’t know me and that may treat me awful at times. I want to be more like you God. Give me a new heart and let your spirit be more present in my life. I want to do good things for you God and live a better life. (Luke 6:45) “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heat, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of the heart his mouth speaks.” God, the way I act, the way I choose to treat people and situations; and even the way I speak are a product of the state of my heart. I have a lot of thing I can do better and a lot of touch things to work through. But you can give me a new heart that overflows with love, care, excitement, and empathy. Help me live a fuller and better life. I know that this is a long process, but God give mea new heart. I love you so damn much! Thanks for rescuing a piece of crap like me. I cannot be more grateful for the grace you have given me. And thank you for the wisdom to be able to chance and love those I couldn’t love on my own. 

Love you Pops!

-Your son