In my last entry I highlighted this well known idea: We are all mistake making, sinful, humans. And God is perfect and makes no mistakes. I commented on how sometimes our shame in life separates us from having a relationship with God. Because we see God's perfection and then our own imperfections we sometimes feel unworthy before God. Why would he want to listen to my prayers? Why would he love me?
There have been days in my life where I can't even find the will to pray at night because I feel as if I have nothing to offer God, I feel as if my prayer would sound like nails on a chalk board to the ears of God. The fact is that I let God down every day. The fact is we as a world break his heart each and every day. The fact is that God doesn't even need us, he doesn't need our prayers or our praise. He is the maker of the universe, the most powerful being! There is really nothing we can offer God that he doesn't have already, God is whole. But the most important though is: despite our imperfections, despite the fact that we break God's heart, despite all of this.... He still loves us...
It's a baffling concept. How can a perfect God, who REALLY needs nothing from us, ever love such small and sinful people? How can God give us so many chances? How can God bless us despite some of our pasts? None of this makes sense... But for some reason he does still love us. For some reason he still pours everything into his children, each and every one of us. God's love for us is a an absurd, unexplainable, nonsensical, and crazy concept!
Rather than trying to ever explain his love and rather than feeling unworthy of his love we need to just accept it. You can try for your entire life to find a reasonable explanation for why God would ever love people like you and me, but you will never find one. That's why it is love, that is what is so great about God's love: We don't deserve it, yet he pours it out to us. There is nothing out there like God's love...
Can we just accept that none of us are worthy of such a great gift? Can we stop beating ourselves up? Can we let go of our shame and just accept God's love? Because here is the kicker, it is because we are unworthy that God sent his only son to the earth. Jesus lived and died in order to take upon his shoulders the sins of this world. When Jesus died for you and I, he took with him all of our shame. You see God understood that we could never be perfect children, and in light of this he sent his son.
Accept that you aren't perfect, accept that you SHOULD have shame. But also accept that God knows all of this, accept that God sent his only son to forgive us of all our wrong doings. Accept that we are given salvation through Jesus Christ's blood. Accept this fact (for it is the basis of all Christianity) and tear down any walls that may exist between you and God due to your shame or feelings of unworthiness.
If shame separates you from God, than you must change your perception of the Lord. God looks down upon you with love, he doesn't look down upon you with disappointment. We can't ever earn salvation in God's eyes through good deeds or by being a "good person" because we will ALL fall short. God knows this, and he asks something completely different of us. God only wants an intimate relationship with you, he wants to be close to you, he wants to be involved in every fiber of your being. God is never surprised or taken back by your sins or shortcomings, he is never surprised by your actions. Because Jesus took the sin of the world with him to his grave YOU DON'T HAVE TO LET SHAME SEPARATE YOU FROM GOD.
Christianity is unlike all of the other religions because it addresses the inevitable truth that no one is perfect. No one can be pure like God, but we can have an intimate relationship despite that fact.... That is all God wants from you and I, an intimate relationship.
In order to tie this all together, and to demonstrate this truth... I am now going to share with you my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE story of the bible, Luke 15:11-31... I pray that it may change entirely your perception of God. He isn't looking down upon you with distain or anger, he only has love for you...
Jesus tells the parable of the lost son:
"There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, Father, give me my share of the estate. So he divided his property between them. Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he head spent everything there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach wit the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men." So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called our son.' But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again, he was lost and is found."
In this story, there are some things you must understand. First off, the man in this story is symbolic of God/Jesus, and the boy in this story can be considered anyone of us. Now, when the son asked his father "for his share of the estate" this wasn't just a simple request for his money a little early. In those times, by asking for his share of the estate early the son was basically saying to his own father "I want you dead! I just want your wealth!" He was completely rejecting and dishonoring his father. The boy of course "gathers all of his things", in other words he sold his fathers estate and took all of his money to another country in order to essentially go crazy. He lived it up for some period of time, squandering all of his family's money. This boy dishonored his father, wished him dead, and then sold a large part of his father's estate (land and houses which had probably been passed down from generation to generation) in order to go live a sinful life. When famine strikes, the boy finds himself without any money left over and with nothing to eat. When Jesus tells us this story he points out the fact that the boy is willing to work with pigs, and willing to eat the same foods the pigs are eating. Pigs were of course, to the Jews, the most un-pure animal out there. Jesus is emphasizing that this boy is in a terribly low position. In light of this situation, the boy decides to go home to his father. Before you start thinking that the boy has realized all of his wrong doings, understand this couldn't be further from the truth. He doesn't care that he hurt his father, he doesn't care that he sold his families estate, he simply is desperate beyond belief for food. He is going to go lie to his father, faking an apology, in order to eat.
As the story says, the boy starts heading home. The next important thing to understand here is that he would not be welcome in his town at all. The people, had they seen him, would meet him at the gates of the town to force him away. Because of what he did, because he dishonored his family, he would not be welcome back AT ALL. But the father sees him before anyone else, he sees him coming in from the distance. And the rather runs to meet his child so that the town's people don't get to him first. In those times, a man was judged by his walk. The slower he went, the more important he must have been. The more elaborate his robe, the more wealthy he must have been. But the father in this story lifts up his robe, and runs to greet his child. The father didn't care what the people would think, he embarrassed himself entirely in front of the town, degrading himself, giving up his social status. The father did all of this to go greet his son, a son who told him that "he wanted him dead". When the son sees his father and apologizes (again not a genuine apology, but a desperate one), the father tells him basically that he was forgiven, the father tells his servant they are going to celebrate for his son who "once was lost and is found."
What? This father, didn't hold his son's terrible and hateful actions against him. This father sacrificed his image and embarrassed himself in order to run to his son... And his son receives his father's grace despite the fact that he wasn't even genuine in his repentance... What?
What is Jesus saying here? What is he getting at with this parable? Again, remember that the father in the story is representative of God our father, and we are all representative of the child...
Despite our sins, despite our actions, we have a God and a father in heaven that is willing to RUN to us with his love. A God that doesn't care about our flaws, about our sins, about our shames... A God that loves us no matter what, A God that only wants us to have a relationship with him, a God that only wants us close and dear to him. The father in the story celebrates that his "son was lost and now is found", and our God celebrates in a similar way. Our God, our Father, celebrates when we are found, when we come to accept his love and accept Christ as our savior. Our God celebrates and values a relationship with us, he doesn't care about our shame or sins, he accepts us and loves us for who we are.
We have a God that will come running
And... we have his son, who was willing to be embarrassed, spit on, degraded, beaten, and killed in order to die for your sins...
I can't wrap my head around God's love for us, but I can come to accept it. I can learn to live in a way that is filled with gratefulness for what Jesus did. I can learn to praise God for accepting me as I am, and I can learn to not let my imperfections separate me from God... God only wants to know you, he only wants an intimate relationship with you...
He is a God that will come to you with love, and a God that will come RUNNING....
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